Control Freak Surrenders All!

We are in February and I am wondering how everyone is doing.  Are you struggling? Have you given up?  Or, are you hanging in there, trying to move forward, and taking it one day at a time.  Remember, there is no need to start over.  I have learned from years of waiting for the perfect 'do-over' moment that I was looking at this in the wrong way.  Each morning, each moment is the right time to do the next right thing.

I shared in the beginning of January that I was going to be on a quest to discover my issues; to learn why I abuse food as someone else abuses alcohol or drugs.  It has been going on for most of my life so I know it is nothing that happened in recent days or years, but goes way back when.  I am also discovering that it is most likely not one thing, but life in general, my environment, that caused my issues to take root.

But, there has been an awakening.  I used to examine my habits and then beat myself up because I have such weak self-control.  I was working for self-control, thinking I could change this, repair the damage years of living had incurred.  I was not surrendering my will to God, the only one truly in control.  Now I know that my self-control is only as effective as my prayer life.

Taking this into consideration I begin my day on my knees, surrendering.  I realized a number of years ago that I love control, I feel safe and secure when I can control every aspect of life.  This too, stems from environment.  Because I craved control I did not need to trust. Without trust, everything falls on my shoulders and that is not how God intended for me to live.

Today, I am relinquishing control and trusting that God has a much better plan for me than I have. I am trusting He will help me with my food addiction, and I only need surrender to Him.  I use this prayer often when I feel weak.  Try it.


The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.    Amen

C is for Come

There are many words that come to mind when I am stuck in my eating disorder. Words like: cry, cling, comfort, could, connect, confront, compel and I am still not sure which one to use for they all jumped off the pages of my devotional material this morning. Here are some words I wrote in my journal as I sought God's word for me today.

God, you know how much I struggle with this addiction to food. Sometimes it is more like and addiction to "having what I want - when I want it." Last night I wrestled and then gave in. Why? Help me to overcome this struggle. Show me how to control my behavior toward food.

I know that God wants me to come to Him with my heart.  This morning He gave me three verses, one right after the other, and I seemed to know they were coming as He revealed them to me. Do you know what I mean?

"It stopped, but I could not tell what it was. A form stood before my eyes, and I heard a hushed voice:" (Job 4:16)

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10)

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. (1 Kings 19:12)

• It seems that God is telling me to just be quiet.  Don't worry so much about controlling my addiction - hand it over to God.
• His Words say to listen closely to His words.  He will guide and direct my actions if and when I allow Him access to my heart.
• He works in mysterious ways, in a gentle whisper, and I must be available to hear him.

Care to share what God is telling you today?  I would love to hear about it.  If you are shy about commenting on this blog, why not email me.

Grace 'n Grins,
Judy