We are in February and I am wondering how everyone is doing. Are you struggling? Have you given up? Or, are you hanging in there, trying to move forward, and taking it one day at a time. Remember, there is no need to start over. I have learned from years of waiting for the perfect 'do-over' moment that I was looking at this in the wrong way. Each morning, each moment is the right time to do the next right thing.
I shared in the beginning of January that I was going to be on a quest to discover my issues; to learn why I abuse food as someone else abuses alcohol or drugs. It has been going on for most of my life so I know it is nothing that happened in recent days or years, but goes way back when. I am also discovering that it is most likely not one thing, but life in general, my environment, that caused my issues to take root.
But, there has been an awakening. I used to examine my habits and then beat myself up because I have such weak self-control. I was working for self-control, thinking I could change this, repair the damage years of living had incurred. I was not surrendering my will to God, the only one truly in control. Now I know that my self-control is only as effective as my prayer life.
Taking this into consideration I begin my day on my knees, surrendering. I realized a number of years ago that I love control, I feel safe and secure when I can control every aspect of life. This too, stems from environment. Because I craved control I did not need to trust. Without trust, everything falls on my shoulders and that is not how God intended for me to live.
Today, I am relinquishing control and trusting that God has a much better plan for me than I have. I am trusting He will help me with my food addiction, and I only need surrender to Him. I use this prayer often when I feel weak. Try it.
The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen
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